"What they goan tell us about us, huh?" - Clipse, Ma, I don't Love Her (featuring Faith Evans)
Bookmark Now: Writing in Unreaderly Times edited by Kevin Smokler (Perseus Books). There was a time when I fancied myself a writer, at the least, an aspiring one. I don't think of myself that way much anymore. I'm a blogger and an uninspired one at that. I go through my archives on rare occasion and find some of my writing -- true, honest-to-god storytelling whether it be autobiographical or fictional -- and I wonder where that went. I wonder where the time has gone? I blog all the time at LAist but I rarely "write" there. I'm too caught up in trying to get the information out and taking the information in. I've become an all consuming media beast. I'm no longer much involved in the conversation between the world in my mind and the audience I hoped to share it with.
Bookmark Now has forced me to re-examine my relationship with the words I so love. The language I used to enjoy manipulating. The stories I used to need to tell. The authors of each essay, almost to a person, speak of the work of writing with such passion that I feel shamed. I've lost my path. I want to get it back. I'm not sure I know how.
No, that's bullshit.
The how is to sit down and write. Write the story I've been thinking of about loyalty and loneliness. Tell you the tale of the mouse that is living on my patio and wants desperately to get into my house (in truth, I believe he's already been in once). Share my fears and angst and joy. My worry. I can complain that there's too much media. There are 800 unread blogposts in my bloglines and there are video games to be played and books to be read and DVDs to be watched and movies to be seen and TV shows on my DVR and comic books to be flipped through and email to be responded to and all that but...but there was a time, a more writerly time, when I would sit down at the computer just shy of midnight with headphones on my ears and a Smirnoff Ice on my desk and I'd bang out words. Words written in this virtual space but that I thought just might be worthy of paper.
Bookmark Now is funny and touching and intense and familiar. These are the voices of our contemporaries. People I enjoy like Meghan Daum and Elizabeth Spiers and Stephanie Elizondo Griest and new voices (at least to me) like Nico Cary, Kelly Eskridge and Nicola Griffith. They write. They blog. They just fucking do it.
For the critical eye it turned back on me, I must recommend it.
And, hopefully, I must write.
this post describes me almost to a T. Just replace LAist with Blogs.Sohh.com and we're twins.
This means I must get read that book. I wonder if my library has it...
Posted by: Hashim | June 12, 2005 at 11:06 AM
For inspiration on writing, try getting a subscription to the Sun Magazine. It's terrific.
Posted by: Amanda Wray | June 13, 2005 at 05:18 PM
I really empathize with the feeling of the lack of focus. I enjoyed your fluidity.
Posted by: DJ Diva | June 13, 2005 at 09:22 PM
Man - I can completely relate with this - "There are 800 unread blogposts in my bloglines and there are video games to be played and books to be read and DVDs to be watched and movies to be seen and TV shows on my DVR and comic books to be flipped through and email to be responded to and all that but..."
ha!
Posted by: taj | June 13, 2005 at 09:57 PM
i've really come to realize in the past few weeks that the only way to write is to WRITE. and i count the LAist stuff for myself, because any arrangement of words can be an exercise in craftsmanship. and reading helps, too! so you do it already. and you can do it more. (what a word nerd cheerleader i am being). now you've made me want to read the book, too. i think i will.
Posted by: sassylittlepunkin | June 15, 2005 at 11:37 AM
Very affecting. I know what you mean. Sometimes no matter how much I want to write something anything I don't hear the words until I'm falling a sleep and too lazy to get a pen and paper and get it all down. Sometimes I get so caught up in all the living of life (tv, music, phone calls, surfing the web) that I just don't write. Recently I went back to my blog, abandonned some 5 years ago and the original page is long gone. I've started it up again and am rambling on. I'm enjoying the writing and I hope you get back to enjoying writing too.
Posted by: Amber | June 15, 2005 at 06:03 PM
I'll have to check out that book
Posted by: jr | June 17, 2005 at 07:29 PM
I disagree with your opening line. You ARE a writer. Keep it up.
Posted by: cc | June 18, 2005 at 11:15 AM
Why does this post totally depress me?
Posted by: Pauly D | June 22, 2005 at 09:02 PM