"I live for the funk, I die for the funk" - Notorious B.I.G., Machine Gun Funk (Ready To Die)
I'm thinking about going to church. The Little Brown Church of the Valley to be exact. Non-denominational, it's a small chapel tucked behind some much larger buildings on the edge of studio city. Historically, it's where Nancy and Ronald Reagan were married over 50 years ago. We were never members of the church but my family went there a few times when I was in 6th grade. It was a cool place to worship at the time as that was the year Full House started airing on ABC's TGIF and Uncle Jesse was a regular at Sunday services.
I'm also thinking about drinking. Just leaving work and going to Chevy's and getting some spicy chicken flautas and some cerveza and then rolling right into Daddy's, taking a seat at the bar, and knocking back a few gimlets. If the gimlet is really good and puts me in that space where the world around me is both muted and crystal clear, I'll probably lick the glass. It wouldn't be a conscious thing. I'd just notice how the condensation had formed on the glass; how the droplets of water floated on the clear surface like islands in the ocean. And then I'd lick the side of the glass.
We've established before that I'm not a religious man. I don't think I need spiritual guidance but as I realize and begin to understand that everything is not forever, I can see the value in taking that hour every week to really think about life, my life, what I'm doing with it, what I want to do with it, what makes me happy.
What would really make me happy right now is a drink. Maybe I'll just stop off at the store on the way home. I could go to whole foods and get the teriyaki chicken wings and the mac and cheese and a little salad. I could stop at the liqour store and get a 6 pack of the Triple Black. I could sit down in front of the television and, once again, not wash clothes but instead drink a cold beverage, play Madden 2003, and watch a DVD.
The thing about the Little Brown Church? The best donuts and muffins at the meet & greet after services and, unlike my 2 years considering a conversion to catholicism, the Little Brown Church doesn't intimidate me. I don't remember ever feeling guilty there or not being down with what the priest ever had to say. Let's just talk about how to really make it through the week and get what we want and maybe help others out and maybe, just maybe, have a relationship with whatever that line is that connects us all that doesn't drive me crazy.
Kind of like my relationship with vodka. It never drives me crazy. In fact, it never drives me anywhere. Don't drink & drive, damnit.
The church at the end of the off-ramp to get to The Trues gives witty titles to their weekly sermons. This week? Extreme Makeover. I'm tempted to go just because that's witty. Even G-d needs a hook.